YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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