the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
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