could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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