thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Randomize
