hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
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