if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
