i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
sarcasm needs its own font
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Randomize
