LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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