she was so not down for the gang bang
I need to stop coming to work sober
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
