kristin has been a bad kristin
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
