I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Dignity is for republicans.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
