Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
