Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
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