What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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