I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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