Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
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so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
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We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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