arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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