He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
