it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
