Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(727): View more from Florida

What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?

(1-727): View more from Florida

Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.

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(727): View more from Florida

wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

(727): View more from Florida

ooooooooooooo i'm drink

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(301): View more from Maryland

She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.

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(480): View more from Arizona

She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day

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(509): View more from Washington

Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.

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(269): View more from Michigan

I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.

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(+27): View more from South Africa

I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.

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(740): View more from Ohio

We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?

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(917): View more from New York City

It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth

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