they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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