and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
