I could have mohawked her pubes.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
