I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
