somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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