Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Randomize
