Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
