I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
