i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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