We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Sext me about skeletons
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
