Don't you send me to vm
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
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