Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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