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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Good decisions....

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up

  Fav 7 2519 806

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.

  Fav 146 4832 1263

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

  Fav 13 5489 1008

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• (770): View more from Georgia

  i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.

  Fav 52 7031 2080

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• (719): View more from Colorado

  I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.

  Fav 5 945 1579

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• (716): View more from New York

  definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.

  Fav 6 1091 815

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs

  Fav 1 518 909

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• (530): View more from California

  Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?

  Fav 6 1011 646

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill

  Fav 4 671 1483

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  Just trying to get my dicks in a row.

  Fav 2 1017 576

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...

  Fav 6 1042 569

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.

  Fav 3 407 926

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• (504): View more from Louisiana

  My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras

  Fav 3 209 107

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.

  Fav 2 26 30

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• (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.

  Fav 1 13 22

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