We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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