just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
