So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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