just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
