just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
