yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
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