he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I could fuck to npr.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize
