The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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