is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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