I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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