check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize