Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
