"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
