I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Oh god it's open bar.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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