I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
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I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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