Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
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