How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
How's work?
Spinning.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
