So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
