i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Randomize
