her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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