Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
