I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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