Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
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