So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Randomize
