How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
