I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
They took my balls.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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