My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
