My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
