why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Sorry about my life...
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
Randomize
